Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Lazy Little Girl

So, Daddy left again yesterday and I'm home working on picking up the pieces. I don't want to. I sorta just want to sit and wallow for a couple days. But...I have 3 small people depending on me, so even though I just want to curl up with a fluffy blanket and a pint of Ben & Jerry's and miss Him for a while, I can't.

Besides updating here, one other thing that sort of fell by the wayside was my diet and exercise. I hadn't worked out in about a month as of yesterday. I had excuse after excuse for it. It was hard to deal with working out, I couldn't get a sitter, they interrupted me when I tried to work out, etc. The real reason? I'm a lazy, lazy little brat. I hate working out. My general attitude is "I don't wanna", though I will admit that once I am actually working out, it is more than worth it. I've been thinking a lot about improving myself, making a better me, so to speak. Honestly, I feel that is one of the best ways I can show my love for Him, by being the best that I can. So, even though I didn't want to, even though I still had a laundry list of excuses, after He left yesterday, I did all the mommy stuff, waited for the kids to be in bed, and did an exercise video. Then I slept like a baby, curled up on His side of the bed, in His blanket. So...I felt even less like exercise today, but I put on a short workout and did that. Don't they say it takes 3 weeks to form a habit? So...2 days down, 19 more to go before this stops feeling like a chore, right? Lol.

I miss You, Daddy. I love You.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

No News is...

Good news! I haven't been updating because my Daddy is HOME! It was unexpected & we're not sure how long-medical stuff but not super bad-but I will take what I can get! Wheeee!

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

A Letter to Daddy

Dear Daddy, 

It's been just about a month since You left and the time has both sped past and dragged on. I still miss You every night when I go to sleep and sometimes lay awake for a long time trying to feel comfortable in our bed. I imagine I can still smell You on your pillow, even though the scent is gone now.

Even though I'm missing You, I'm still trying to do things, keep busy, have fun. It's my nature to hide away and lick my wounds in private, but I know that's not what You want. And once I get out, I am enjoying myself, I promise! 

I'm working on myself too--both my health and my self-confidence. Not skipping the doctor and ignoring things. Taking lots of pictures, but You know that ;) Buying things that make me feel fun and sassy and sexy. Don't worry, You'll reap the benefits when You get home!

So... one month down. 5 to go. I was scared at first, but I can do this. Not because it's easy, because it sure as hell isn't, but because it's worth it. You're worth it. We're worth it.

I love You.


Your babygirl and loving wife

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Challenge #2

So...what does every good little girl who's having to go without her Daddy to tuck her in at night NEED? A cozy, colorful blanket to snuggle up in, of course!
I've been trying to figure out how to mark the time He's been gone & how soon He'll come back in a physical way (all of our calendars are online, lol), and it hit me tonight: an afghan! I will do my best to work on it a little every week & hopefully by the time He gets home it will be big enough to cover our bed. I am also using up my scrap yarn & a bunch of my yarn stash, which should make Him a very happy Daddy. I may have a wee bit of a yarn hoarding issue...
So, this is what has been done so far of my Crazy, Colorful, Scrap Deployment Afghan:

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

My Commentary on Mornings...

Yeah, that's about it. I don't think many words are needed in this case--3 pictures = a 3000 word count, right, Daddy? *grumbles*

Monday, March 18, 2013

Trying to be a littler little...

So...I've said that I'm a little, but what I haven't said is that I'm also trying to BECOME little...well, littler in size at least. I had gained a lot of weight with my last baby and I'm sort of working on having the outside finally matching the inside. As an aside, a tummy tuck--which is also needed to repair my abdominal muscles--and a breast reduction would do a lot towards that aim as well! Ah well. I'm very lucky because I have a Daddy who loves me and thinks I'm perfect even when I'm bigger, but it also means that He is not the best at encouraging me in my weight loss journey lol. He doesn't want me to feel pushed, so He doesn't say much with regard to it, and He definitely doesn't kick my ass and make me go workout, so I have to do that myself. I'm not always successful.

However, what is the best way to encourage a little girl to do something that she SHOULD do but doesn't want to? Rewards! (And my first thought was STICKERS--so I am SO making myself a sticker chart, omgz!) For hitting 190 pounds, my reward was new bras, and 1 matching bra and panty set, yay!

Daddy also says there needs to be more naughty pictures, so I am working on that one next...

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Damn right, I'm a princess!

So, like... took the kids for haircuts today, and ended up going too late to really go home and cook. I won't eat McDonald's anymore--gave it up last week, but hey, it counts!--so I got them happy meals and I'm going to forage once they go to bed. However, I was delighted to find a tiara in the baby's happy meal. Yay! She's not going to miss it, right? *grins*

Damn right, I'm a motherfucking princess!

Also, I'm all a-squee over my new socks. I love socks. I feel especially girly in knee- and thigh-highs. When you're over say...12 years old, they get harder to find, though still possible. When you're over a SIZE 12, it gets nigh impossible. I found the awesomest, most superfantabulous store the other day and ordered some new socks. I meant to just order 2 pairs, but there was a glitch with the cart and well, I now have FOUR pairs hehe. I took pictures of 3 before I got interrupted in my glee to go be a grownup.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013


Daddy is getting a new tattoo and he won't tell me what it is til it's done. That is SO not fair. Hello, I'm a little. Patience is soooo not my strong suit. In fact, I wouldn't label it among say...the top 10 virtues I have. Maybe 20. I DO have a lot of virtues though...

Monday, March 11, 2013

Dr. Who, New Ink and Skinned Knees

So.. I'm missing Daddy lots and I've been dying for a new tattoo, so I spoiled myself Saturday night. I had a sitter for something that I ended up not being up to attending (was really not ready to handle the "happy couple" thing), so I went out on a date..with myself! I grabbed a caramel macchiato at Starbucks. Upside down, extra caramel--it comes out far sweeter *grins* Then I went and got a pedicure. Pretty pink toes! After that, I decided to go to the mall. Our mall has a tattoo parlor (crazy, huh?) and a friend of mine has gotten a lot of ink done there and her tattoos are gorgeous, so I got over my initial reservations and went to check it out.

There was a 40 minute wait at the parlor, so I wandered around and found Dr. Who shirts, Buy 1 Get 1 50% off. Now, I love Dr. Who. Like LOVE. While the shirts I found didn't have MY Doctor on them, they are still awesome. MY Doctor, btw, is David Tennant. I would pounce on that man. I would lick him head to toe like a lollipop. He's just that yummy.

Daddy is a brony and especially loves Rainbow Dash. It's not obvious at all that *I* like My Little Pony, is it? Hehe. So... I got Rainbow Dash's cutie mark behind my right ear. Daddy & I both agree that it's a bad idea to get names tattooed on your body unless they are your kids' names, so I wanted something to symbolize Him and also that I would still like, no matter what. I think I startled the tattoo artist some. I fell asleep during the tattoo. What did he think would happen? Comfy massage table, something semi-soft under my head (a roll of paper towels, get that mind out of the gutter!) and that low level of pain or discomfort that can be so relaxing. I also had to get my hair out of the way & found out I can put it up in these little "almost pigtails", which thrilled me!

Then the not-so-fun. I'm a clutz & most people who know me realize this. I was leaving a friend's house & managed to trip & land hard on both knees. I was holding the baby & thought she had hit her head but turns out she was fine, not even a bruise or a goose egg. My knees, on the other hand...I haven't had skinned knees since I was actually little. one thing about childhood that I do NOT miss. Definitely not the good kind of pain. Ouch. I wish Daddy was here to kiss them better.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Such a Brat!

I am not the world's best little girl, I will freely admit it. I'm a brat. On the scale of minx to hellion, I'm somewhere in the mischievous pixie range. I think Daddy USUALLY enjoys that about me. From wrestling to (some) talking back to teasing, I can be a handful. Since Daddy has been gone though, I'm pushing the limits a lot more. Both my big & my little miss Him, but I think my little has a bit of that "teenager left alone overnight for the first time" thing going on. I haven't thrown any wild parties yet though...Of course, that's not to say I won't!

I think there's often a negative perception of brats, that we top from the bottom, that we are irritating, difficult, etc. That we're not really "subs" if we are brats. I think it takes a special kind of Dom to handle a brat--but when we find the right fit, we're worth it! My favorite "definition" for bratting is "creative disobedience". It's free entertainment for Daddy, right? Wouldn't want things to get too boring.

That being said... Hey Daddy! Lookie here!

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Challenge #1:

I did this the night Daddy left. He gets frustrated because I'm often down on myself and the way I look and I tend to "hide" as he calls it. So...I took some self-portraits. Me with the Cheshire Cat stuffie he bought me--it's all big and cuddly. Some just my face, some showing more of me. I'm trying to be happier in my skin, but sometimes it's hard with the ravages of 2 pregnancies. My body sometimes makes it hard to feel "little". See below for a couple of the pictures. Most of the rest don't belong on a public blog *grins*

That one's okay, though ^^. 

And this one ^^

And yes, I'm a bit of a brat, but I don't think Daddy would have me any other way. At least I hope not!

My Challenge :)

I've identified as a Little for as long as I can remember--part of me just never grew up. That part of me can be pretty awesome, or she can be a complete pain in the ass. Because of the little part of me, I've always looked for someone to take care of me, at least part of the time. The big part of me can handle whatever gets thrown her way; the little wants a protector--a Daddy. I was lucky enough to find that and for the first time in a long time, both parts of me have been content and happy. However, Daddy is military, and as we all know, that means...deployment. So, how does one indulge her little when Daddy is gone? This is my attempt. 

I promised Daddy (he's also my husband) that I would try to do at least one thing a week that takes care of my little side. I also promised him I would record it here, for him to read. It's not always easy to do when you are also raising 3 kids, but I promised, so I will do my best--I hate disappointing Daddy.